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Lucky's Blog

Thursday, March 29, 2018

My Mom The Manager



This week I wanted to talk about being an effective manager and leader. In most of my articles, I talk about some of the amazing people I have had the opportunity to work with and the effect they had on my professional career. No doubt you have heard me talk about my father and the influences he has had on my life. But today I wanted to talk about my mother. Why? Because I think that many of the qualities that one needs to be a great leader are the same qualities we learn from our mother. In today’s article, I am going to touch on a few important traits that are needed to be an effective leader and how they relate to our earliest remembrances of learning.

While I believe there are 22 main qualities, skills, or traits you need to be an effective leader I am only going to touch on three for the purpose of this article. At the end of the article, I will add the complete list of these qualities, skills, or traits with no elaboration that I believe are needed in order to be an outstanding leader in today’s world.

Quality 1: Stoicism – I believe this must be one of the most important qualities of a true leader. You need always to keep everyone pointed in the right direction and emotionally charged to stay on track and achieve the goals you have set. My mom was an expert at this; I can remember growing up and just being a happy kid. My mom would take me to the park or just for a walk down “Miracle Mile” in Coral Gables. It didn’t cost anything, but these are some of my fondest memories. Little did I know that the reason we went for walks was because we didn’t have money to go anywhere else. My mom would make a game out of collecting green stamps and putting them in the books. Then after we had filled up enough books, she would take me to the green stamp store to spend on a toy. We would go to second-hand stores for clothes, but she made it a fun activity, making it feel like a treasure hunt. She never let on that we were struggling even to put food on the table. To me everything was great. This trait is important for a leader in today’s world. As managers, we all face some very tough times and it is easy to vent or show our emotion, but we need to contain these feelings and keep our team positive and focused. If you show your struggles, you can cause worry or panic amongst your team, and in most cases, it isn’t something about which they need to be concerned. It is your job to shield your team from the pressure and stress. They will have enough of their own stress and pressure to deal with, so don’t add your load to their shoulders.

Quality 2: Empathy – Having empathy and actually caring about your team, is one of the most overlooked qualities a leader needs. I don’t need to go into a whole lot of examples of how my mother would constantly show how much she cared, or how she could tell when I was feeling down and would find ways to cheer me up or take my mind off my worries. Most everyone can relate to the fact that your mother loved and cared about you and had her own way of lifting your spirits. I say that empathy is a lost skill in management today because too many people try to fake empathy and caring about their team. I believe that as a leader it is your responsibility to help every team member you have to be as successful as they can possibly be, both at work and in life. You truly have to care about them and their families. A true leader must understand that everything isn’t about what they need and sometimes life gets in the way of their team. I used to teach about balance and making sure that your team had a balanced life. However, in today’s world, it is getting harder and harder for anyone to find balance with the completely connected world of devices we all share. But, we still need to be empathetic to our team and always try to see everything from their perspective before reacting.

Quality 3: Patience – This is also one of the top skills a leader needs. It is also one of the most difficult to achieve. While many of you reading this article might not have had a mother that exercised great patience, my mother had the patience of a saint. Lord knows I tested it on a daily bases. Whether it was starting a fire by accident in one of the rooms of our house, or breaking a glass insert by the front door, my mother would always listen to me before reacting. Now don’t get me wrong, once she listened, if I was in the wrong or just a plain idiot, there were consequences, but that was yet another great leadership quality she possessed. In the quick paced world we live in today, it can be very difficult to stop what you are doing, clear your head, and take the time to listen to a team member’s question, explanation, or excuses. I know in my case many times I am going at a hundred miles an hour and just want to get past this issue and back to what I was doing. This is one area that I will always be working to improve in myself. But I promise if you practice patience you will start hearing things that will help not only you becoming a better manager, but also helping your entire team become a better unit. Many times when there is a problem it exists across your entire company, and only by practicing patience and active listening can you identify the issue and correct the problem permanently.

As I said, I am going to keep this article short and only cover these three qualities but believe me; I could write a book if I went more in-depth on each quality and covered all 22 traits I believe are required. Also, please understand that I know I will hear from many of you that I forgot some important qualities, and you are probably correct. This isn’t meant to be a complete, all-encompassing list, but from my experience, this covers some of the top qualities needed to be an effective leader.

As promised below is the complete list, including the ones listed above, of qualities, skills, or traits I believe a true leader needs to be effective.

Humility          Empathy       Integrity       Authenticity     Inspirational             Accountability
Stoicism           Passionate        Patience      Visionary       Sense of Humor       Open Minded
Delegation       Empowerment        Mentorship                 Persistence               Approachable   
Communication   Insightfulness     Decisiveness               Positivity                  Generosity        



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