Communication 101, Shut Up!

This article is about communication. The number one answer when people are asked about what’s wrong with their company is: communication. How is this possible in our electronic world where everyone is always on the phone, texting, tweeting, insta-gramming, face booking (if that is a word?) and every other type of social media that exists? The answer is simple. Everyone is talking but no one is listening.

I just finished reading Dale Carnegie’s book (HTWFAIP) for the third time. In the book he talks about how important listening is when it comes to building relationships. Yes, I have posted other articles about this in the past, but this article is taking a slightly different slant. Either way this is a point that needs to be brought up over and over again. Why? Because corporate communication as a whole, is still just as bad as it has been for decades.

I know this because I am just as guilty as everyone else. Each time I read Carnegie’s book I swear I am going to work on my two major flaws. One is that I have a bad habit of interrupting people when they are talking to me. I never mean any disrespect, and I really do care about what they have to say. However, in my head, I already know where they are going and what they are going to say. So in an attempt to save time, I will interrupt them and try to answer their question before it is asked. No one can know what is in someone else’s head and it doesn’t matter if I am right or wrong about what the point was they were trying to make. If I haven’t allowed them the chance to present their point, really give them a chance to be heard, they are not going to listen to what I have to say. And even if they do, they will more than likely walk away with a feeling that I don’t really care about them. It is embarrassing to me when I catch myself doing it, and I continue to struggle with eliminating this from my bad habits list. As John Maxwell once said, “People don’t care how much you know, until they know you care”. Whenever someone is interrupted and unable to complete their thought, you will have a hard time convincing them that you really care no matter how much you do for them.

The other bad habit I have is that I am always trying to fix everyone’s problems. This comes from the fact that I really do want to help them. However, many times people don’t want help. They just want someone to listen to them. In John Gray’s book Men are from Mars / Women are from Venus, he explains the difference between men wanting to fix problems and women just wanting a sympathetic ear. While I don’t agree that this is true of all men and women, I do believe that everyone, at times, just wants someone to listen to them without offering advice or direction. Again, I am ashamed to say that I have not completely corrected this flaw either. However, I have made tremendous improvement and will continue my diligence in eradicating both of these habits from my repertoire, permanently.

All too often in business we get caught up in our own schedules and the demands of our jobs. We cannot allow these distractions to affect our team. It is more important than I could ever state here that your team knows you care and that you are there to help them should they need your help. However, you cannot listen to their problems if you are talking over them. Your team cannot grow if you fix all of their problems for them. With all of this in mind, sometimes the best thing you can do as a manager to communicate is to: shut up and listen. Putting yourself in the other person’s place and fully understanding their position before you do anything, is communication 101!

Author’s Note: I have exposed some of my flaws in this article to help illustrate how important good communication is amongst your team. Please do not take the time to send me comments bashing me about these flaws, since I think I have pretty clearly explained that I know they are not acceptable. However, just like with anything, the first step to fixing a problem is identifying and admitting you have that problem.

The World’s Greatest Teaching

This week's article is about the greatest teaching of all time. It is the one teaching that transcends religion, income level, political standing, or any other possibly separating ideals or background. It is one of the best teachings for leadership, parenting, internal happiness, and any other motivating force. This teaching will make you richer than you could ever imagine, yet costs nothing to obtain. So what is it? The answer is to: “Do on to others as you would have them do unto you”.

In the spirit of the holiday season this article is all about giving back. If you live your life according to the principle of ‘do onto others’, you will have a substantially positive impact on other people's lives and will reap a greater reward than any monetary gains you could ever achieve. All the greatest leaders not only knew this principle, but they practiced it every day.

Too many people today focus on what they don't have and follow more of a ‘do onto others before they do onto you’, philosophy. You will find a much more fulfilling life and be a much better leader, spouse, friend, parent, etc... If you spend more time counting your blessings and paying it forward. This time of year is not about spending and what you will receive. It is about giving and how you can make other’s lives better.

While the people who really know me, already know the amount of time and money I dedicate to giving back, it doesn't have to be an all or nothing decision for you. However, there are no excuses for not giving back. Just start out with baby steps. Instead of walking by the ringing bell in front of the stores, go ahead and drop your spare change in the little red pail. Instead of scowling at the homeless person sleeping in the park, stop by a local drive-thru, and give them a meal.

It doesn't have to be about money. In today’s economy many people are strapped for cash, but are blessed with talents, and time. Donate your time or talents to a local charity or to your church. Again, baby steps at first, just plan on spending one hour a month making someone else’s life better. Come on, anyone can find one hour a month, right?

Heck, sometimes something as simple as a smile and some encouraging words can completely change another person’s day. You have been given the greatest gift there is, life. So why not exercise the greatest teaching of all time and pay it forward?

Thank you and Merry Christmas to all who celebrate it, and Happy Holidays and Best Wishes to those who celebrate another way, or not at all.

What Is Your Succession Plan?

In my previous article I spoke about delegation and the importance of having internal succession plans in place. In today’s article I wanted to quickly expand upon succession plans and the importance of always training your replacement.

It has been my experience that having a succession plan in place is a key factor missing amongst many companies. However, there is no greater value for internal structure. A strong, well defined, succession plan allows your internal team to clearly see the path to career advancement. It allows everyone to know what is required, and what needs to be accomplished in order to move up the company ladder. Furthermore, it allows team members to transition from one position to another, rather than being thrown into the pool and left to sink or swim with little to no training.

While there are many internal benefits to having a well defined succession plan, the largest benefit is with the customer experience. In many companies account managers are left in charge of an account with no backup. This requires them to be on-call 24 x 7; I even heard a story about one account manager that was taking calls on his wedding day! Eventually they will burn out and you will lose them. Meanwhile the customer still has needs and you are scrambling trying to fit someone into an account manager’s position with no training for that account. This causes stress on the customer’s side as well as adding to your daily anxiety. By having a well defined succession plan and having multiple people cross-trained with each position, you take the pressure off the single account manager, allowing them to reboot and take needed time off. This will avoid the burn out stage and hopefully keep them happy in their position and more productive. However, if an account manager does decide to leave for another reason, you will be in a good position to continue the same level of service and the entire transition will be invisible to your customer.

I am not going to get into specifics on how to build a succession plan, there is plenty enough information on the web if you are so inclined. However, hopefully this article has expressed the importance of building and implementing such a plan. If you do not have a plan in place and you are not currently cross-training your managers, you will eventually find yourself in a very difficult position and franticaly searching for a replacement, at which point you will remember this article. While it takes months, even years sometimes, to win a new customer, it only takes seconds to lose them. So take the time now and prepare a succession plan for your business. You will be in a much better place structurally, your customers can continue to receive the same level of service they have come to love and your team will be much happier and more productive.

To Delegate Or Not To Delegate?

One question I receive quite often is; how are you able to get so much done when there are so few hours in the day? I usually answer with; I don’t waste any time sleeping. There will be plenty of time to rest when I am dead. While yes I do spend many hours working on all the different hats I have in the ring (usually about 16 hours a day), I spend little time being non-productive. I don’t waste much time watching TV or reading fiction. If I do watch TV or read it is usually something non-fiction or based on factual information that I can use to improve an aspect of my life. However, even though I do have a few weaknesses for mindless TV entertainment, I try to keep the time sitting in front of a TV to a minimum and am still trying to cut it out completely so I can gain a few more hours a week of productive time. I have often wondered if there has ever been a study done that correlates the relationship between hours of TV watched and a person’s average income and/or success. If anyone does know of such a study please share it with me, I would love to look at that research.

Now don’t get me wrong and please don’t start posting that I am missing out on life and family. Part of what I call productive time includes personal and family time that I schedule in the same as any other important tasks. I spend a lot of time with my family and several hours a week on myself. I have always tried to keep a well balanced life. But enough about how I schedule my time, let’s get to the meat of this article.

One reason I am afforded the luxury of being able to accomplish so much in short amounts of time, is because I don’t major in minor things. I have a phenomenal team around me, whose talents are exceptional. I have made it a point to surround myself with the best team in the industry and I know they have my back and the company’s best interest at heart. So I make sure that I delegate many things to this team and allow them the opportunity to shine. By empowering my team I allow them to feel the experience of hitting the homeruns and keep them striving for more. Also, by delegating tasks it leaves me more time to focus on places that I feel need my special attention.

So how should you decide what gets delegated? Good question! I don’t claim to have the perfect formula, however, I will share my method of deciding what to delegate. While there may be many more reasons, below are the three basics that I have used over the years to decide on what needs to be delegated.

1.        Don’t do any job you hate doing. You will only get frustrated, put it off until the last minute, and do a bad job once you complete it. Delegate it to someone who loves that job and is an expert. They will enjoy doing it and the end product will be exceptional.
2.        Don’t waste time doing something someone else can do. Too many times I have seen examples of executives spending time on tasks that anyone can do. You should only focus on things that require your level of expertise and experience. Just the other day I was speaking to a VP who told me he was delivering materials to the job site. This is a perfect example of wasted talents.
3.        Is what you are working on going to improve your business, the customer experience, or your team’s work environment? If it doesn’t encompass these areas then you are getting involved in the day to day operations and spending your time doing the job of your operations manager. If you spend time working in your business, no one is working on your business.

While I realize that these rules apply to business owners, the same logic can be used for whatever position you hold. You need to understand your role and make sure your time is invested in the tasks required to be successful in that role. Unless the job you are doing can only be done by you, you should consider delegating that task and focus your time on efforts that require your special skills.

Over the years I have had many managers that didn’t want to delegate tasks. In part they felt they had better job security if they were the only ones who knew how to do those specific tasks. I can tell you from a senior manager position, that is extremely frustrating and the easiest way to get on my bad side. Nothing in a business should be dependent on one person. As I have mentioned in previous articles, you need to have cross-training built into your standard processes. Your ability to properly build and implement a solid succession plan will gain more value than anything else you can work on when it comes to internal structure. It will also take a lot of pressure off your team and give a clear career path to each team member, which in turn, will make for a better work environment and better team morale.

So don’t get caught up in fear and stop putting the weight of the world on your shoulders. I believe that the true sign of a great manager is the ability to know what and when to delegate. So if you want to be successful and still have time for balance in your life, then you need to learn when to delegate or not to delegate, that is the question!

You Never Know Where Your Next Customer May Come From

In my previous article I mentioned how important it is to act professional because you never know where your next big opportunity may come from. In this article I wanted to dig a little deeper into that statement because it is about more than just being professional.

Don’t ever kid yourself, you are always on stage and you are always being judged, as I pointed out in two previous articles “First Impressions” and “Stage Right”. In those articles I expressed the importance of always acting professional because of the fact that you are always being watched and judged. However, another key reason is; that you never know what circumstances may lead to winning the trust of your next customer.

I have developed many lifelong relationships with customers. However, I never knew where I was going to meet them or where the next one may come from. In many cases they were referrals from relationships I had made, but one outstanding customer that comes to mind, came from an unexpected source.

I have always loved my job and for one specific reason. I am in the business of helping people. Whether it is helping internal team members accomplish their career goals, or helping customers by providing them with solutions to their problems, I have always loved helping others.

The one area most people over look when it comes to helping others, is other businesses. I have always made it a point to do what I can to help other businesses succeed. Not just businesses where I can gain a benefit, but anyone I can help, in anyway. This held true with a salesperson I met who was with Stanley Steamer Carpet Cleaning. Now in most cases, an electrical services provider would just grin, nod and move on when they met a carpet cleaning company sales person. However, staying true to my personal commitment to try to help everyone, we connected, and I was actually able to really help him out by sending him a lot of work when I had customers that needed those services. (Let me clearly state, this was only after we had a serious talk about how important my network is and how I will not jeopardize the trust of my network by recommending someone that doesn't follow the same guiding principles to which I strictly adhere.)

Once he had earned my trust I was able to freely recommend his services knowing that he would do what he promised and provide an excellent, quality service. I did that in an effort to help him and the company he worked for, not ever expecting that there would be any return on my efforts. However, as it turned out, nearly a year later, this particular sales person ended up having a relative that received a job managing two 40 story towers in the downtown area. He recommended us to his relative and it has now turned into a great relationship where we provide electrical and systems services to both buildings. I have many examples of similar circumstances where I received a recommendation from an unexpected source, yet I am always pleasantly surprised when it happens.

I have attended more networking functions than I care to admit, and I always see the Feeders working the rooms. However, I believe, that you must give four times as much as you take if you want to build a meaningful relationship. So if you stop “selling” and start helping you may just find an unlimited amount of true partners within your network, singing your praises. If not, at least you helped others, and there is no better feeling. So stay honest and try to help others every chance you get, because you never know where your next customer may come from.

Do What You Say

Over the years I have had many people ask me for tips on how to be successful and how to be a great leader. I am always humbled by these types of requests since I have always felt that my accomplishments are not as much about me, but about the team that I have around me. I have been blessed with the opportunity to work for great mentors and had the support of some amazing team members. However, I can say that there has always been one common thread to the way I was taught and the approach I have always implemented. If I had to condense it all down to one word, it would be easy, SINCERITY!

Maybe it was the way I was brought up by my parents, but I have always believed that actions speak louder than words. I have never been one to brag about my accomplishments, nor to spew out a bunch of ideas without some serious preparation and thought. I can remember from a very young age always being told, “Do what you say you are going to do!” So before I make a promise or a statement of what I will do, I make sure that I understand the situation and that I can deliver on any promises I make.

Do what you say you will do! In today’s world of over promising and under delivering, these words have never rung more true. People’s appetites are much larger than their stomachs and they tend to take on more than they can handle. This puts them in a position of not being able to deliver on their promises. Maybe, it is because of how tight the economy has been and no one wants to lose any business, maybe it’s easier to make promises just to get a signature on the dotted line. Regardless, when you tell someone that you will do something, they are depending on you to come through. In fact, they have more than likely made successive plans based on your promise. This translates to your internal team too. If you tell one of your team members that you will do something, they need to know that you will get it done.  Otherwise not only have you put doubt in their minds, you have compromised your integrity.

I am a firm believer in building long-term, meaningful relationships with my customers and my team members. However, if they cannot count on me to do what I say, then their trust in me will be broken. The fact is that you cannot build a relationship without trust. Not personal, not with your team, and definitely not in the business world.

It never ceases to amaze me how many times I see hypocritical behavior in people. A parent will tell a child that it isn’t okay to lie, but then in front of the child will be dishonest during a negotiation. What do you think the child will learn from that? More than likely they will learn that their parents are inconsistent and they will lose trust in the strength of their teachings.

 I also have had people talk my ear off about how honest they are, but then they will cheat when we are playing golf. If you will cheat during a friendly game of golf with your friends, colleagues, or business partners, what will you do when money is involved? Don’t kid yourself. You are always being judged by others based on your actions and eventually your true character will shine through.

Anyone can say the right thing. However, you are judged by what you do, not what you say you will do. You need to make it a point to be honest and sincere with your team and your customers. But it doesn’t stop there. You need to be sincere with everyone you come into contact with. You never know whom you are talking to or where you next big opportunity may come from, so acting professional is important, but being sincere is the key. If you are sincere and put yourself in other people’s shoes and stop the judging, you will be opened up to a whole new world of kindness. Your relationships will become much deeper and your life will become much richer. I make it a point to try and help anyone I can with all the knowledge and experience I have at my disposal. I always make it a point to try and pay it forward. For if someone wasn’t willing to do that for me, I would never have achieved what I have in my life.

So the point I want to make in this article is, stop pretending and acting the way you think people want you to act. Be open, honest, and sincere, and you will gain more valuable relationships as you continue through your life’s path. And if you are really lucky you may change someone else’s life for the better. All by doing what you say you will do!

Can You Be Wrong?

Yesterday I was brought in to mediate an issue that had gotten completely out of hand, and both parties had irreconcilable differences in their minds. This situation took weeks of battling before they finally got to a point where neither could move forward. For the purposes of this example we will call them Ted and Bill.

When I walked into this meeting you could feel the tension in the room. You could see on Bill and Ted’s face, they had come prepared to do battle, and both were ready for the fight. Like two ultimate fighters right before the bell rings.

The meeting started out with each side presenting their problems, and quickly turned into a heated argument, and finger pointing session. Bill was determined to show where Ted was at fault, and Ted was bent on proving that all the issues we caused by Bill. Each side was so determined to prove they were right; neither took the time to listen to the concerns of the other, a simple action that would have avoided all of the conflict in the first place.

At one point during the argument Bill said to Ted “you made me feel like you didn’t care whether or not the project got done”.

Immediately, Ted responded, “that isn’t what I said!” Each one was so determined on proving they were right they had lost sight of the project goal.

At this point I jumped in and said “wait a minute! Something very important just happened here. Bill explained how you made him feel, and you dismissed his feelings and stayed focus on what you said.”

 I went on to explain to them that neither seemed to be concerned with the other’s position or problems and that there is no communication happening if neither one is listening.

Things calmed down and we were able to move forward from there, because each person was able to verbally express their concerns while the other truly listened. As the meeting progressed I pointed out that both Ted and Bill had the same goal in mind and there was no reason for them not to work together and achieve the best possible results. Once each of them let go of who was right and who was wrong, and focused on the main goal, they realized they had common ground to build on.

I am sure that as the months roll forward they will start to build a relationship and learn to trust each other, all while producing a quality product.

The lesson to learn from this example is that you must listen first and answer second. It is really more than that though. You not only have to listen, but you need to understand. Put yourself in their position and try to understand their perspective. Once you truly understand their point, focus on the goal and see where you have common ground. Once you both understand what you have in common communication becomes easier.

Don’t worry about who is wrong or right, it doesn’t really matter. You have been wrong before and you will be wrong again. Next time you are wrong do you want somebody pointing it out? What really matters is the end product and how to get there. One of my mentors used to say “yesterday is gone and we may all be dead tomorrow, so let’s just focus on today”. While funny, it is very true. When dealing with a problem, you can’t allow yourself to get all caught up in how you got to this point. You need to be focused on the path forward. You should personally take time to reflect on what got you there, so you don’t make the same mistakes again, but that will not help you get out of the current situation. You need to use forward thinking and rally the team to come up with a way to get out of the current condition and back on schedule.

It all comes down to communication and to effectively communicate, you must listen. There is an old saying that ‘you have two ears and one mouth for a reason, so shut your mouth and start listening’. When talking with others, don’t spend the time they are talking thinking of how you will respond. Open your mind and listen to what they are saying. Then give a true response based on the information you have gathered while listening. This will have tremendous positive results for your business and your quality of life.

 

Special management note:

It has been my experience over the years that there are three critical parts a manager has to deal with:

1.       The task (project) itself. The time-line and schedule, as well as all commitments

2.       The customer’s satisfaction

3.       The profitability of the project or task

My experience has been that most people will focus on one of the three critical parts. The problem is, to be successful; you have to have a balance amongst the three. If you focus only on getting the project done on time, you will usually have a happy customer, but in many cases will lose money. If you only focus on the profitability, you will make money, but chances are the schedule will get blown and you will not earn a repeat customer.

The truly great managers are the ones that can balance all three critical parts on every project. The managers that keep their focus on the end result, all the while listening and helping the customer are the great ones. Keep your focus on all three parts, that way in the end you will meet the deadlines and make money and keep your customers happy.